exotic friends and next-door neighbors

happy night time, everyone!
I just felt like blogging a bit before I went to bed. Oh, and I've been watching a lot of British Youtubers recently, so please know that I am writing this in a British accent and I do hope you will read it that way. :)

I'm going to take advantage of the fact that I'm pretty sure no one reads this and let that allow me to be a bit personal right now.

College is great, and I'm really enjoying it so far, but I will confess that I am a little bit lonely. It hasn't progressed to the "super depressed" stage yet (and trust me, I've been there) but it is enough to make me contemplative. Of course, this is extremely normal and I'm sure a bajillion freshman here are feeling it right now, but the thing is- it's not so new for me.

I feel like I can get along with anyone, really and truly, but it is so entirely rare for me to find someone with whom I have a "soul connection." I've met so many cool people throughout my life, and especially within these last two and a half weeks, but there's something to be said for that person that you just really "click" with. Do you know what I mean? Please don't think I'm being snobbish or anything, because I know so many awesome people who I truly like and expect great things from, but there is a tangible lack of those who I feel occupy the same planet as I do.

And it's not just now, it's been like that for a long time. And that's okay, it doesn't bother me so much anymore, but I do have a real problem with identifying with girls my age specifically. And that definitely causes some feelings of isolation, especially now that I'm living on an all-girl floor.

I just keep imagining myself when I'm older, with a husband and 2 to 4 kids with curly hair and a house with wooden floors and big windows and a dog or maybe two and three books published and one in the works and our adventures and our travels and our exotic friends and next-door neighbors and our lives not being like what you see on television but more like what you see in movies, except it's ours. Because I guess I feel like I belong there.

I have a grand vision for myself. I just need to stop doubting it, that's all.

Well, I don't really know the meaning of this rambling, but it has made me feel a teeny bit better, so I guess that's something. I hope if you're reading this you don't judge me too harshly. Maybe it's made you feel better too. And yes, I'm still writing this in a British accent. :)

And if you don't mind, I'd like to end with a short prayer:

Dear Lord,
thank you for all of the opportunities and bountiful blessings you have given me
please help me to use them to your advantage and guide me on the right path
let me feel your presence always and fill me with love, joy, hope, and peace
help me to live in your light and your love, and let them shine through me
I pray that for anyone feeling lonely or out-of-place, you assure them of their worth
and guide them to their best potential
help us find our way
also, I pray for mom, dad, Alex, Callie, Devin, Ashley, Haste, and all the college freshman this year who are still adjusting
please keep us all safe and protected and lay your healing hands on our hearts 
in Jesus' name I pray,
Amen

 I hope you all have a good night and you sleep well :) I look forward to having the inspiration to write again!

Always,
Bailey Rose