bitchy resting face

hello earth people!

Yes, I'm eating alone in the cafe again. The screenplay for the teen drama based on my life is in the works.

I always bring my laptop when I'm eating alone in order to look collegiate and unapproachable. There's a real skill in making sure no one tries to be your friend. According to my mother, I'm great at it.
There's a syndrome I've been suffering from my entire life, but I only just learned the term for it the other day. You see, ever since I was a tween, I have had a horrible case of.... Bitchy Resting Face.

For those of you unaware of the plight of Bitchy Resting Face, it's an ailment of the face where the afflicted basically looks like she's smelling a dead fish wrapped in garbage any time she's not smiling. I may just be thinking or staring off into space or stuffing a snickers into my mouth, but apparently I look like I want to kill you while doing that.

My mother preparing me for college: "You need to smile more. Make sure to smile. You look very friendly when you smile. You don't want to intimidate people."

Most of the time, I'm not even aware that I'm doing it. It's just how my face settles.
To be truthfully honest, I think it may be a side effect of my early-middle school days. 4th and 5th grade was the most awkward stage of my life. This warrants a list:

Reasons Why Bailey Was Painfully Awkward At The Age of 10

1. I wore glasses, braces, straight-across bangs, and a black choker. Oh, the black choker. I can never escape it. 
2. I hated wearing jeans, and the only pair I liked were ultra-flare with cheetah print accents. Quite the fashion staple. I wore them almost every day. They made me feel like a Cheetah Girl. 
3. I was huge into drawing Manga, which if you don't know (and you probably don't, because you probably had friends as a child), it's a Japanese form of art. Think Pokemon. Lord knows I did. 
4. Avril Lavigne was my goddess. 
5. My best friends were Tamagotchis. Does anyone remember Tamagotchis? If you don't, just use your imagination. I can't even explain. 

Kids are really cruel, especially at that age, and as I'm sure you could deduce from this list, I was kind of an outcast. So in order to protect myself from feeling the judgement of the other kids, I would always plaster this stone-cold, I-don't-care look on my face. It was my defense, my pretense of confidence that gave me a shield to thwart off any insecurities I had in social situations. Thus, Bitchy Resting Face was born. 

Eventually, I ditched the choker and my Tamagotchi's battery died and I slowly went from outcast to shy girl to just girl.
And now I'm on my way becoming more than just girl.

So maybe, if you see anyone with Bitchy Resting Face, it's because they had a painful childhood and you should just go up and give them a hug.
Except not me.
I hate hugs. 

And in the meantime... I'll just sit here, contemplating if Anne Hathaway can handle the weight of my teenage angst and wondering if I still have my Manga art books. :)

Until next time!
Always,

Bailey Rose

P.S. I am now the only person left in the cafe.
P.P.S. I had to write another poem for class. It's about the circus. Safe territory? :)
P.P.P.S. I don't know if anyone reads this except my cousin and my grandma, but if you do and you want to get my posts emailed to you, there's a box for that on my homepage! Just enter your email and voila!
P.P.P.P.S. Also feel free to leave a comment!
P.P.P.P.P.S. Also... um... thank you for reading :)
P.P.P.P.P.P.S. goodbye.